Francis Meets the Host Club
by tazatiger1995
Summary: So the host club sleeps over Tamaki's place and France is the sitter while Tamaki's dad is away. France Starts hitting on all of the members. After the sleepover he even follows them to school. How will they survive?
1. Chapter 1

"Haruhi!"

I turn around and see the twins waving at me, they appear to be on their way to the club room as well. I wait for them to catch up.

"Haruhi where's your clothes that you're supposed to bring"

"Clothes" I ask puzzled

"Yeah you know how we were going to have a sleepover this afternoon, I bet the boss is doing it just to see you change clothes"

"You know I couldn't agree more Hikaru, ahahahaha god the boss is never out of ideas"

Oh great I did bring those clothes I told dad yesterday afternoon to remind me and he said he's put some clothes in there, although I haven't checked which ones he put in there. I bet he put something cute in.

"Great sounds like fun" I groan

"Don't worry about it Haruhi seriously he may act perverse sometimes but he has our best interests at heart most of the time even if most of the time we don't make him sound like that" Kaoru says sighing with that face which he uses when he's thinking about something else far off. Mostly about his brother I bet.

Finally the doors of the abandoned music room come into sight. I open them and we are surrounded by dozens of roses flying past us. This was a normal formality to the host club. They do the most, weirdest things in there sometimes I wonder if this is all a dream, that I can't wake up from.

Next thing I know is I'm being suffocated. I can't see anything, I can't breathe. I can just feel my body being spun around and around and someone squealing. That's Tamaki for you. I think that one day he could kill me just from tackle glomping me for too long I might just pass out from lack of air and he's have murder on his hands. Tamaki releases me

"Haruhi did you bring the clothes I asked you to bring?"

"Yes but I'm not sure what clothes are in there so I will go to the changing rooms and check." I sigh walking off.

"Oh shit", Dad is so gonna pay when he gets home.

I walk out from the changing room and everyone turns their heads to me. It's a pink dress with a ribbon around my waist. It has a strawberry pattern around the bottom and has a strawberry on my chest with the character for Kawaii Ichigo.

This is so embarrassing. I look at my feet as I blush. Okay get over yourself Haruhi, I tell myself it's okay no one is going to mind.

"Wow you look so cute Haru-Chan!" Honey Sempai shouts surprised

I look at the twins. They're staring at me and so is the boss. Kyoya is sitting at his desk with his laptop and he quickly turns to face his laptop again when he realizes that I can see him looking at me.

"Okay then everyone we shall all go to my Mansion and we can set up the sleeping bags." Tamaki shouts jumping up and down on the spot.

So we get in the car and head off for the Suoh mansion.

When we arrive. There are servants everywhere. Waiting for our arrival was Tamaki's father, and another man who looked similar to Tamaki sempai.

"Hello everyone this is man is Francis Bonnefoy and he is also staying the night and he shall be in charge for tonight while I attend an important business meeting."

"Please call me Francis, I don't need the formalities"

At that he left in one of the chauffeured cars at the front. We stood there for a few seconds before Francis suddenly rushed up to me and showed me in leaving the rest of the host club waiting outside gobsmacked. I look back worriedly and see that they are all trying to catch up with Francis.

I am still being shown around by France when Tamaki suddenly says "Excuse me Francis, that was very kind of you looking after us but I believe that I can take it from here and show Haruhi to her room."

"Ah so your name is Haruhi, what a sexy… I mean beautiful name" Francis says stroking my face.

I start shivering this guy is reminding me of Tamaki sempai more and more.

There's something different though. 'A' he's older 'B' Tamaki would never use the word sexy to describe something. It didn't sound dignified. It made Francis sound perverted. I suddenly wanted to get as far away from this man. I don't think that he was going to let me though. Tamaki is still arguing with Francis. Well more like Tamaki is trying to gain control over the situation while Francis is staring at me with his mouth hanging open drooling while completely ignoring Tamaki.

"Mummy help me!" Tamaki says turning to Kyoya getting flustered.

Kyoya steps to Francis's side and says "Excuse me Francis but I believe that there is some wine waiting for you out at the dining table and you wouldn't want to waste your host's kindness would you?" Kyoya says his purple aura flaring wildly. Francis doesn't seem fazed by the huge purple aura engulfing Kyoya. In fact as Francis straightened himself up as he walked past Kyoya and… Messed up his hair and stole Kyoya's glasses and in the mass of confusion he licked Kyoya's cheek!


	2. Chapter 2: Gourmet Dinner Wink!

I am suddenly swept off my feet and I see the host club all gathering around Kyoya trying to find his glasses not noticing that I was being kidnapped. Francis is walking away with me in his arms.

"Put me down right now!"

"…." 

"Put me down right now Francis"

"I love it when you're angry Haruhi my dear"

"Don't refer to me as Haruhi! Put me down this instant" I scream and start to squirm, he suddenly puts me down and pulls his face in closer and looks like he's about to kiss me. Before he can do anything I slap him across his face hard. It doesn't seem to faze him nothing fazes him. He comes in even closer and I try to run but he's grabbed my hands. Why the heck would Mr Suoh employee someone as sick as this. Unless this man was of high-class maybe it's a culture difference?

"Francis I have had quite enough of this let Haruhi go now, this is my house and you are merely a guest!" Tamaki says walking up to us with the rest of the host club.

"Are you a nation? France perhaps?" Kyoya suddenly enquires shocked

"Why yes I am Kyoya"

"Please do not refer to me as Kyoya it is Ootori to you!"

"Ah yes I see." He says laughing.

"Come on Haruhi lets go set up our sleeping bags"

"Oh can I sleep with you?" France asks cocking his head facing Tamaki

"No you cannot sleep with us"

"No not all of you surely I don't have that much nerve" he says shocked that we would think so

"No you cannot sleep with any of us"

"You know, I wasn't talking to you my precious", he says walking up to Kyoya and stroking his hair as he goes by. Kyoya slaps his hand away but France catches it and puts his other hand on top of Kyoya's and says "Good night Kyoya darling"

What a weirdo and to be a nation that was really strange. I shake a bit god he was definitely not like Tamaki. Tamaki would never force someone against their will to do something, and Tamaki is so much more sophisticated but they did however share some similarities.

We all place our sleeping bags over the floor. Tamaki and the twins had a quick argument over who would be sleeping next to me. After a while I decided that I'd go and sleep next to Honey and Mori Sempai, and leave them to their bickering. After they had finished they realized that I had already set up

"Oh great Hikaru and Kaoru now you've embarrassed her see she doesn't want to sleep any where near you too shady twins." Tamaki says to the twins, you know it's amazing how stupid he can be sometimes. It has been decided where the sleeping bags go Mori to me then Honey then the twins then the boss then Kyoya. The sleeping bags form a ring so that Mori and Kyoya join up. We sit on top of our sleeping bags and wait for France to come in with our dinner. He is an amazing cook apparently. He finally comes in with a beautifully decorated dinner. He places all the plates onto a silver tray in the middle of the ring of mattresses. I can't believe that I get to try all of these dishes, could such a good cook be such a scoundrel. He then leaves us alone. We start to dig into the dishes; suddenly I spot some really good-looking tuna.

"Is this Fancy Tuna?" I ask everyone

Suddenly everyone starts staring at me.

"Yes this is what you would call fancy Tuna" Kyoya says with a bit of amusement written on his face. I shrug and get back to the tuna I pick it up with my fork. As it goes into my mouth I close my lips and taste it. It tastes so good. This is the most delicious food that I've ever tasted before. I open my eyes again and everyone is swooning, maybe their hot or something, or maybe they all like their fancy tuna too. I shake my head as I see Tamaki and the twins synchronizing "Kawaii".

As we finish France comes in again with small cupcakes with strawberries on top. I look at it and just think how cute it looks maybe France isn't such a bad guy "Haruhi my precious Kawaii strawberry I wish to eat you up as you would the strawberry cupcake.

"France-dono you are very flattering but we do not require your hosting services" Tamaki says politely

"Ah I see Tamaki. So are your love children staying just tonight"

"My what?"

"Your lovers will they be staying here a few days or just tonight?" France says eyeing me

"No they are not my lovers they're my friends and they…"

"Hahahahahahahhaha friends? Friends you say that is rich. 'Friends' is a child's term for lovers, oh you naïve little one." France says mockingly

"They are staying for only tonight and if you are done here than can you please retire to your own room and leave my FRIENDS! Alone." Tamaki says shaking all over trying not to lose his temper.

France laughs and walks off. Dropping a piece of paper that slipped out of his jacket. I walk over to it and pick it up. It's a photograph of the host club! With captions! On each of us! Over Tamaki's picture it has Tamaki Suoh- Princely but to naïve, other than that pretty cool 80%! Kyoya Ootori- dark, sexy perfect match 100%! The twins- the incest act is good but totally good for nothing 30%! Mori- no comment 1%! Honey- to much like a baby prefer England 24%! Haruhi- sexy, feisty, cute, perfect match 100%! What the hell do the percentages mean!

"I believe that with the comments. I would predict that those percentages are what he imagines us to be as future lovers", Kyoya says blushing profusely

"Okay get that pervert out of your minds we came here to have fun and we didn't come here to have it ruined by that France character", Tamaki says frowning

"Besides I would say that Kyoya and Haruhi are his targets so everyone keep an eye on them." Mori sighs while putting a hand on my shoulder. Suddenly I start to get freaked out but at the same time I'm really tired, I just want to sleep. I collapse into Mori's arms and everything goes fuzzy.

"Woah Haru-chan must have been really tired huh?"

"Wait Honey are you okay?"

"Kyoya you're looking a but funny"

"Hikaru what's wrong!"

Then I fall into the spiral of sleep.


	3. Chapter 3: Is he insane?

My eyes widen in horror. I go to turn around when the host club doors open and the twins come through. They too stop and stare in disgust at the crazy Frenchman in his so-called-love-pose. Soon Kyoya walks in writing notes down in his black book a he walked. He didn't seem to notice Francis until

"KYOYA MY BLACKBIRD COME TO MONSIEUR BONNEFOY HE'LL SHOW YOU A GOOD TIME!" Francis shouts across the room. Kyoya stops dead in his footsteps: adjusts his glasses and slowly turns his face towards Francis.

"Kindly leave the Host club or I will have to call security since you are neither a member of the faculty or student body." Kyoya says formally.

"But Kyoya do you really think that to be wise? I am a nation do you really think that security guards would be able to drag me from your side?" he says slyly stroking his curls. Kyoya's facial nerves are twitching. He must be under so much pressure right now but what can he do Francis has a point? The doors open again as Honey and Mori also stand agape at the sight of the man.

"Are you okay Haru-chan? Kyoya?" Honey asks us as Mori places him behind him in the protective stance. Finally Tamaki comes through the huge pink doors. As he walks in he makes his huge entrance as usual.

"Welcome all of you to the host club. I'm very sorry for my tardiness but all will be forgiven in this Garden of Eden." He stands with his legs twisted behind another holding out his rose with out stretched arms looking around the host club to see the reaction. As soon as he sees Francis he quickly straightens up again: storms over and is an inch away from Francis' face.

"What are you doing here Monsieur Francis?" Tamaki growls

"Nothing my charming Tamaki. I only wish to be a host at this dull-so-called-place-of-Eden where you people do not even have sex.

"Why that's preposterous Francis there was no sex in the place of Eden. God forbade it" Tamaki retorts back

"Well Tamaki sex is a beautiful pleasure not to be frowned upon I assure you. Sex is…" Francis says until Tamaki slaps him full on in the face.

"Leave now Francis Bonnefoy and never come back. You are dispelled from this school!" Tamaki threatens

"Did that feel better" Francis says in a teasing tone. Suddenly Francis pulls a handgun from his pocket and places it to Tamaki's temples. Beads of sweat start pouring down Tamaki's face.

"PUT THAT DOWN!" I shout running over to sempai in a rush.

"Ah Haruhi. I almost forgot about you." He says charmingly. "Come over here or I will pull the trigger through this idiot Halfer's head."

I gulp and walk over to his side. His arms immediately go around my waist pulling me up off the ground. I feel his breathing down my neck. I go to retaliate but he clicks the gun still pointing at Sempai's head. I gulp and swallow my pride.

"Kyoya help us," I cry as tears start rolling down my cheeks as Francis starts kissing my neck. "Help us", I cry.

"Haruhi you cheeky bird. Kyoya can't do anything. No one can defeat the French. I rack my brain. He's a nation. What can we do?

"Monsieur Francis the guests shall be arriving soon so we should sort this out before they come. What do you want?"

"Hmm guests so you really do have customers?" he asks surprised. "I shall become king of the Host club maybe you'll get some more customers."

"Where is Renge-chan in a time like this", I think.

"Monsieur Francis you are not permitted to become the Host club's king since Kyoya is next inline for the position!" Renge suddenly says rising from her platform.

"Renge-chan? He asks surprised. "How about this compromise. I have yaoi photos of me and a sexy Englishman if you wish to see."

Her face looks deep in thought.

"Or I could give you video footage of me an Englishman and an American." He asks again "or me a Spaniard and a German? Or all of them?" he adds on

"YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES" She screams as her yaoi senses go into overdrive as Francis gives her the tapes.

"I am the new host king now" Francis says pulling the gun away from Tamaki's head. As he does so Tamaki melts to the floor gasping for breath. I try to squirm out of Francis' grip but he has a firm hold on me and he continues kissing and licking my neck. I feel dreadful. I would give anything just to be away from this man. The door opens and some girls come in. Francis places me down gently and walks towards them.

"Irasshai, doozo ohairi kudasai" he says as they become accustomed to the rose petals coming in through the door.

"nansai desu ka?" they reply a bit worriedly.

"Ah shinpai shinai de. Watashi mo anata o aishiteimasu."He says holding out a rose. "I'm sorry I don't know much Japanese, why don't you teach me. Nihon ga suki desu."

I need to help those ladies. I storm over and stand in front of them. Holding my arms out blocking Francis' view of them.

"Leave them alone Francis!" I shout hotly. "LEAVE NOW OR I WILL CALL JAPAN OVER HERE!" I shout voicing my idea. Only a nation could defeat another nation or at least make him leave.

"Nihon?" Francis laughs "You wouldn't bring Nihon into this would you. I turn to Kyoya who is already dialling the number into his phone.

"Japan could you please get here now and collect France. He's causing a ruckus." Kyoya says into the phone. There is a silence then Kyoya starts listening intently to the phone then slams the phone shut almost crushing it. "Japan doesn't want to get involved with France." Kyoya sighs.

"What about another nation?" I ask worrying. "Try Spain or Prussia or America?" I ask desperate now.

"Kyoya starts to dial Spain's number when Francis interrupts by pulling photos out of his blazer of himself in bed with Spain and Prussia! "I don't think that will work and then pulls out more photos of himself and America being intimate.

"What about England?"

"Iggy? Don't make me laugh that bastard couldn't do anything"

Kyoya starts calling him. This time I can clearly hear England's voice over the phone. "WHA… WHY DO I HAVE TO FETCH THAT BASTARD?"

"Because you are one of the only people capable of removing him."

"No way am I coming to fetch him. Deal with him yourself." Then I hear the phone slam into the receiver.

"Apparently not" Kyoya sighs heavily.

I make a run for it and grab Kyoya sempai's phone. I look through the list of nations that he has on here. My choices are Germany, Russia, America, Hungary or some country called Canada? I choose to call Germany first.

"Hello" I sigh into the phone

"Hello Germany here?" says Doitsu's voice coming through the phone.

"I have a dilemma"

". . . What with?" he says awkwardly "Who is speaking?"

"Haruhi Fujioka. Can you please help us get rid of France? He's here now and he is very unwelcome, he's being extremely sick to us please Germany come and save us and if you can't do that please send us someone who will." I cry into the phone.

"er France is a nuisance alright and I would only know how to defeat him. Not bring him back unharmed. Italy!" he suddenly calls out. Italy do you think you could convince France to come back? Okay then. Alright Fujioka Italy says that he'll take America and come over right away. Good Day."

"Thank you" I sigh.

France is ignoring us too busy with some customers.

I wait at one of the host tables with some customers as time slowly ticks by waiting for the nations to arrive. Finally the doors open wide and Italy walks in excitedly. "Woah America this is a real japan host club" he says waving his arms around.

"Yes, yes it is Italy. That settles it since Japan isn't here I'm the new hero of the host club not that sick French man over there!"

"Hey who asked you Hero of crap food"

"Fujioka asked me didn't you Fujioka wherever he is?"

"Yes please take Francis home now?"

"Oh you want us to take France back to France? Oh okay then but answer me this first. DON'T YOU THINK I'M A SUPER AWESOME HERO OF THIS HOST CLUB?"

"Ah yeah sure lets go with that" I sigh

"Okay now I'm good to take him. Come on France you've had your fun now it's time to go to the allies meeting to discuss some new super secret top missions."

"Sure thing see you later Kyoya darling and Haruhi sweet heart."

My shoulders sag from the effort of trying to keep calm "STAY AWAY FROM US!" I shout after him.


End file.
